How Do You Measure A Year In The Life?

525,600 minutes ago I was still married. I still owned a house and still owed money on a car that my estranged husband drove. In the past year I have filed for divorce, I sold my house, and the car was repossesed. I moved into my own apartment, my divorce was finalized, and my money was again my own to pay bills on time and to buy the things I wanted. Most importantly, during the past 12 months, I have found myself. I didn’t even know I was lost - until I found the freedom to be me. I listen to the music I want to listen to; I watch the tv shows I want to watch; I do things I want to do like laugh, cry, and be absurdly silly. I cut my hair - I grow it out, I wear the clothes I want to wear, I stay out til the wee hours - I stay in curled up with a good book. I am so happy with who I am now, I really don’t recognize the person I was 52 weeks ago. This year in my life has been a Season of Freedom. Independence. Friendships. Happiness. Closure. Identity. Healing. Uncertainty. Self-Focus. Growth. Transitions. Dreams. Starting Over - and truly - a Season of Love.

Go see RENT.

here comes your man

That was so sweet - I'm all teary eyed and stuff. It's so comfortable and nice to be with friends who understand where you are coming from.

I was on vacation with a friend/coworker this week and she commented that all her friends leave each other when a dude comes around (her included) and that's just the way it is. I said that my friends from back home were different. Maybe it's the places we hung out (in cool bars, not dance clubs), but they had to pass "the friend test." And if the dude didn't get along with all of us, then forget em. She looked at me like I was odd.

Moral of the story: It will be nice to be home for Christmas.

PS: I think you would have liked the Brazilian boy I met this week. He would have passed the friend test and he doesn't like to dance:)!!!

Float On

Ok - I just have to finally put this Blog down - it's kind of been in my head for awhile - composing itself.

This is a letter to my Schmoopie - and if you're not her - you can stop reading. :)

Melanie -

You probably don't have this issue - but sometimes - I'm in my car - and Float On comes on - or anything by The Pixies. And it all comes back to me - like you're in the car. It's 30 below zero. It's 10pm - we're heading out SOMEWHERE. We're jammin - obnoxiously so. We're jumping snowbanks to get into cars, the bar, your little apartment. What a great winter - and how awesome that I haven't lost it from my mind. I can still "BE" there - whenever I hear one of our songs. How weird it is that I can't come pick you up - that we can't track snow throughout your apartment - that we won't be getting up at 10am to go get coffee from your "Saturday Guy." It won't be tomorrow that I'm rummaging through your closet trying to find SOMETHING to wear - waking up at 6am to Luna knocking sh*t over to wake us up - or watching BRAVO while knitting and eating greasy TAKE OUT.

I miss you. I think of you at LEAST once every day. And sometimes I get more than a moment to sit and think of you - and remember the great winter we had - and am thankful that we became friends - and that we still are friends.

Love you.

Carrie

no pity for those who get dates

My goodness - at this point I would not be at all upset if some dude had his hands all over me. Three weeks in Thailand and I'm starting to wonder if I'm invisible. My friends and I have started to refer to our lives here as "Just in the City" 'cuz we ain't gettin' any sex! Maybe if I say that enough it will start to be funny.

Okay - the other things make up for it though. Like the people, the food, the weather (although I'm still sweating everyday), and my job. The kids call me Ms. Melanie - how cute is that? AND they actually thank me when I give them homework - well it's only happened a few times, but STILL!

I also love the Thai massages, they rub for hours and it costs about $5 - it's madness I tell you!

So Carrie keep the dates up because I am completely living vicariously through you at this point. Don't get me wrong, I will continue to go out dancing at the clubs and rub up against random strangers for my affection. But for actual dates - you're it sista! Oh and come visit me!!! Seriously - you better plan to be here for the entire summer! I miss you!

Ms.Melanie

Blind Date Sunday

Ok - so today was a day of mediocrity. Both Ann and I had dates set up for today. Both guys we met online. I was excited.. she not so much. . .but it was to be an interesting day.

I was to meet Big Red at Maria's on Franklin at 10:30am. I got there a little early- as I didn't want him to be watching me walk in - so it was around 10:20 or so when I arrived. I waited in the doorway for a little while - telling people, no, I'm not waiting to be seated, please, go ahead. At 10:26 Big Red text messaged me saying he was running late. I messaged back - saying i was going to sit down. There was texting - and a few phone calls - all assuring me he was thisclose and was passing thislandmark. . .blah blah blah. I started making deals with him in my head while watching the minutes pass by. One of my last texts to him was that he had 3 minutes. He claimed (for the 2nd time - that he was on Franklin - and was minutes away). Finally, at 11:30 (one HOUR after we'd planned to meet) - I left $5 on the table (for the 3 glasses of water I drank) and walked out the door. To be fair - I watched every vehicle that came into the lot - so we didn't just miss each other. At 11:45 he calls me and says he JUST PASSED Maria's and was turning around. I told him I wasn't there anymore. Very short/quiet conversation - he says bye - and hangs up. Seriously - at this point - I'm now wondering if he isn't some ass who's sitting at home seeing how long he can keep the innocent girl waiting for some imaginary date. It didn't end there (oh, lord, I wish I would have just left it alone - cuz no one would have faulted me for never speaking to him again). I decided to go to a movie - and he ended up coming over to my place (cuz no, I will not meet you - if you wanna come - then you be to my place by 1:45 - before I leave). So, he came over - gave me hugs (uninvited, I might add) and was all like "how ya doing?" (like 4 times) - dude - you just pissed me off - maybe let's skip the generic greetings. Anyway - we went to the movie (I paid for my own) - and he like grabbed my hand - and with his fingers - rubbed my fingers for practically the WHOLE movie. Yes, he did move to my leg a few times (once when i had pulled my hand back and crossed my arms - NOTE TO GUYS: this is a SOCIAL CUE. When a girl has her arms crossed - she DOESN'T want you to grab her hand - probably doesn't even want you touching her . . take the CUE. So - it was bad - i was rolling my eyes in the dark theater - and was truly waiting for the "date" to end. The whole way home - i was wondering what i would say to make sure the date actually DID end at this point. I must have come off as a true bitch- cuz he finally took the hint - and he didn't even come in to hug/kiss me at all. THANK GOODNESS! Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that he's a smoker - and he completely stunk like cigarettes the whole time - and for at least an hour after he left - I could still SMELL/TASTE that god-awful smell!

Ann's date - with The Half J - finished not long after mine - and she'll have to comment to give the full story - but short story is: no chemistry - and lots of awkward pauses. Neither of us had eaten - so we went to eat and gab about our equally entertaining guys. We went to some Mexican restaurant - which seemed to attract Spanish-speaking customers - may be because staff could barely speak English? - this is a fact - we were the only white people in the place. And to top off our wonderful days - the food was very dry, Ann's pop had no fizz, and the karaoke guy (singing in Spanish) turned the music up so loud that we were practically screaming at each other to talk.

So now I'm alone again in my apartment - and feeling VERY ok with that.

I was arrested last night

Ok - you will not believe the day I had yesterday. I will give you the best possible story - filling in background when needed - while trying not to bore you.

I went to brother/sis-in-law's house around 6:30pm - to bring them to airport. (they were flying out to Vegas to visit parents) Ha ha ha, isn't this fun, "Carrie, do you want gas money for this?" WHAT? Don't be absurd - I would never accept gas money for bringing someone to the airport! It's my good deed for the day, yes?

Drop them off at DOOR 1 (had to fly America West) - get out of car, get bags, hugs, kisses all around. Get back in car - begin to pull away from curb - and from Airport Police car which I had parked directly in front of. (Obviously the terror alert is quite minimal - as this guy had nothing better to do than run my plates.) I pull into traffic - going SOOOO slow - and being very careful about changing lanes - and he pulls out behind me . . . he follows me for about 15 seconds before he puts his lights on - and pulls me over (on the left side of the road, btw)

I'm stunned - cuz have no idea what i could have POSSIBLY done. . .

He comes up to window, asks me if I'm "Carrie" - i say "yes" - and he says something to the effect that there is a warrant out for my arrest. WHAT???? (totally thinking stupid ex husband did something stupid - and i'm involved now!) - "Yes, warrant out for your arrest - seems you did not provide proof of insurance to St. Cloud Police."

BACKGROUND STORY:

sometime in April? May? I went to St. Cloud to visit loving cousin who had stopped into MN for a few days (from AZ). A BLOCK from the restaurant where we were meeting - a lady cop (ahem) pulls me over - cuz my blinker light's not working. Ok - and she also wants insurance. Cool. No problem. Wait a minute. I can't find it. I try to explain that I JUST got divorced (explaining name change on ID) - and JUST moved (ditto - and hoping that explains why I'm so unorganized) - and I don't even know if I have new cards yet, blah blah blah. She gives me a fix-it-ticket for the blinker - and a ticket for the no insurance - I must take care of these two things. I DID. I fixed the blinker (only $17) and FAXED my proof of insurance to St. Cloud. I even CALLED before - to make sure I could fax, rather than go in person. (fix-it was able to be done here in cities). All good, right? No! - read on:

So here I am, pulled over at the airport - cop is calling St. Cloud to see if warrant is still "live" - I'm in my car calling cousins (who are airport cops) - get ahold of one - WHAT DO I DO??? He tells me to do whatever the cop says - and that he will come down and help me out. Cop comes back - warrant is good - he has to take me "in." (dear lord!) - and asks if i have someone who can come get me and pay the $500 CASH to bail me out. (by this time, I have also told him who my cousins are - so I think that helped with only having to go to the airport jail - NOT downtown) I ask about what happens to my car? Impounded. $250 to get out. WHAT??? (I wailed) I'm going to be out $750 cuz of St. Cloud's mistake??? Can't we handle this another way. He allows me (THANK GOD) to park my car in general parking ($10 - yay!) - and then i had to get in the back of the squad car to be taken "in." (thankfully - he never put cuffs on me. . yeah. .like I look like I can hurt somebody!)

The worst was now over - as I sat in this little room for about an hour and a half - crying - calling people - pissed, mad (at myself, at St. Cloud, at this guy). Cousin and his parents came down - filled out the paper work, paid the bail - and i got to leave. I have court in St. Cloud in Sept. and Cousin thinks I'll be able to get the bail money returned (as this wasn't my fault).

The very worst part of ALL of this - Remember that first time I got pulled over in St. Cloud, didn't have insurance cards - no - but I DID have the temporary card (and PROOF of payment) in my BACKPACK because I (at the time) had been carrying around all my important papers (divorce, house sale, apt. lease, INSURANCE) - in case I needed them. So I should have NEVER gotten the first proof of insurance ticket - OH WELL! LIVE AND LEARN!

Lesson for the day:

PUT YOUR INSURANCE CARD IN YOUR CAR THE VERY DAY YOU GET IT IN THE MAIL!

My name is Carrie, and I gossip

First of all - yesterday was a good day for friends! Boy did I make the rounds.

I started off with lunch in Coon Rapids with Michele. She works at our Intake Center - so we gossiped about work - and enjoyed lunch at a Chinese buffet.

Since I was in the neighborhood - I called up grad school/former coworker/bridesmaid Tracy - and stopped by to visit her and her girls. 18month old Lindsey didn't know what to think of me for a long time - but was sharing Play Dough with me by the time big sis Emme got home from a friend's house. It was great to catch up with Tracy - it's been a long time since we just hung out and talked! (Of COURSE we had to debrief from the previous night's gathering at my house!)

Around 4pm I met up with high school buddies Nancy F and Jaymie to scrapbook at Archiver's in Roseville for scrappin' and more gossiping. (geez - I gossip ALOT! - at least I admit it! ;) We took a break to have dinner at Quizno's - where we got to see cousin (and fellow scrapbooker) Sarah (and her DD) who just ran in to use the bathroom!

I ran home to let the dogs out - and by 9pm was out the door again to meet with friends at Psycho Suzie's. Ann brought a friend from her adult school, Vanhtha came out for his traditional "one drink," and O'Calla also made it out for greasy food and beer. Midway thru an evening of laughing and talking crap (and yes, gossiping) - I caught the eye of a guy at the next table - it was Lobster Boy's (remember him??) friend - that married guy who flirted with Melanie!! LB wasn't with the table of 10 or so guys - as far as I could tell - it wasn't like I could sit and stare - right?? :) - so that's a bummer - but it be nice if I could lose 10 pounds or so before I run into LB again anyway! :)

So - the moral of the story:

(Good Friends + Gossip) x (Food + Laughter) = A Great Day!

This Week of Loss

On Monday - I packed up all of Luna's stuff, put her in the carry thingy, and drover her to Bill's house (her new home). She was fine for the most part - I was a wreck. I was crying - knowing what was happening - and she had no idea! When we got to Bill's and let her out of the carrier - she ran around the house exploring - tail wagging. Bill was so excited to see her - and kept saying "Welcome Home Luna!" - so I think it will be ok. She probably loves being Queen again - and doesn't miss those nasty dogs at all! (However, Baxter spent quite a bit of time roaming around the apt. looking for his Luna that night.)

On Tuesday K and I broke up. It was a weird breakup in that it was MOSTLY done on instant messaging. We both just were kind of being there - and it was kind of "ho hum." I think we're both looking for something else. But it was good - first relationship for either of us after our divorces - so now that's out of the way! :) We still have talked on the phone - and he's online right now even - so we've im'd a couple of times. He'll probably be a good friend for awhile anyway - at least until one of us is dating someone else - and it gets weird (IF it does).

Yesterday I had the DAG group over for casual conversation. Julayne was home from Korea (just for a visit) - so I called the whole gang together - and a good number showed up!

Today I'm going to lunch with a friend from the district - and then scrapbooking with Nancy F and Jaymie. Should be a fun day!

Weekend in Bemidji

This weekend started off pretty rocky. I had an argument/disagreement with Paul on the phone Friday - which pretty much ruined my day - even tho I was off to visit Grandma and Aunt who were getting their nails done at Mask. Anyway - quit crying long enough to get Arby's with Grandma, Aunt, and Grandpa - followed by a trip to Cold Stone. (New and exciting experience for the grandparents from the town of 300.)

Went to K's house Friday night - got up in the am to leave for Bemidji. We had a good day - hanging out with his friends from CA (who make this yearly trip to Cass Lake with their family) - and also some old buds from his BSU days. We stayed at the lovely Palace Casino and Hotel - an experience in itself.

We came home early today - and I've been welcomed home by loving Luna who peed on the couch! The cushion covers have all been thru the wash - and are doing fine - no harm, no foul. Luna misses her mommy - and probably wasn't too happy with me being gone for the weekend. (Melanie - she had a clean litter box- a bowl full of dry food - and Auntie Ann to check in on her.)

Ann's here now - showering - she's just painted her bathroom - and we're headed out to get some food.

I'm a Bus Rider!

Ok, this week - my first week of vacation - I'm on jury duty! Some people are bummed about being there - me, I'm having FUN! I sat on a case Mon, Tues, and today - and after a 4 hour lunch/break - they excused us, saying the case was settled! The best part of all of this is "playing" downtown. I'm riding the BUS - ALL by mself! I'm eating lunch - for an hour or more! And I'm hurrying down the streets of MPLS like I have somewhere to be! :) I am having fun. So, I have to report back tomorrow at 9am - there were only about 30 people in the jury room at 4pm today - and there are 30 new cases for tomorrow - so chances of being on another jury are very GOOD.

Melanie is in Thailand - looking for a place to live. Sounds like she's having fun so far. Hopefully we'll hear from her soon - and get the big scoop!

I asked Jaymie how to post pics on this blog - so I'm going to attempt some soon! Be on the lookout for photos of BELLA LUNA!

She leaves for Thailand in 9 hours

Melanie left today. Not for Thailand yet - but she left the apt. We said our goodbyes - at the last minute - in the middle of our messy apt - with her parents waiting for her outside. Yes, we both cried - but this is a GOOD thing, no? Knowing this day was coming for many months did not make it any easier. I moped around the rest of the evening - and couldn't even enjoy spending the evening with K. He came up to get some help shopping for baby gifts for friends - and bday gift for niece. Then we got hotdogs and icecream at DQ - and watched tv. I don't know, I'm sad inside. I already feel like it's too quiet here - even tho I've been here alone before - knowing that she's not "coming home" anytime soon makes it seem so EMPTY.

Oh well - I will be fine - Mel will be fine. We'll both be back at work soon - keeping busy.

Mel - I love you! Be safe, be good, and have fun! And don't forget to BLOG! :)

Carrie

A lot can happen in 3 1/2 months

OK - it's been a long time since either of us have posted - so here's the catch up:

Since April 10th:

* Melanie and I have been living together in NE Mpls - GOOD TIMES

* I started dating a guy who lives in Shakopee - "K". It's been fun - not sure where it's going - but more good times. :)

* Melanie has just recently hooked up with a guy who she was interested in before - "EMM" - and they've had a few good times. :)

* The school year ended. YAY.

* We started - and have almost finished - teaching summer school. Working - ughhh. . Paychecks - Good times.

Wow - I guess you haven't missed much - but it seems like we've been very busy!

Melanie leaves for Thailand in 6 days. - She's busy this week seeing the people she wants to see - Once she's there - and set up with a computer - we will both be posting blogs - so hopefully we won't skip so much time anymore.

Now to bed - and to watch Big Brother VI that I tivoed - it's a sickness - I know.

Carrie

allergic reactions

So the dating front has been weak to say the least. I had a prospect who e-mailed me a few weeks ago. We'd chatted through City Pages for a few months in the late fall, but due to his infrequent responses I came to the conclusion that "he's just not that into me." Thank you Greg Behrendt.

So it was a nice surprise to hear from him about 3 months later seemingly regretful that we had never actually met. He's going to school to be an ESL teacher, I am an ESL teacher, we both like to travel, etc. We met a few times and had some nice conversations and exchanges some awkward pecks. I was playing it cool and letting him call me, which he did. On Tuesday he called and we talked about meeting at the Triple Rock to see the Divebomb Honeys. He called late that Thursday night to say he wouldn't be able to make it because of "homework." However, he was on his way to a barbeque, so I'm guessing that wasn't the real reason. Anyways, he ended the conversation by saying that he would like to get together with me "sometime." I suggested he call me if he wanted to get together "sometime." LAME

Anyways, so I didn't really feel like going out this weekend and decided to give a friend/ex a call. Not surprising, he was feeling quite down. We've become reacquainted (see the week of the ex's) not too long ago and have been hanging out a bit. He's really funny, but way self-depricating. Last night, being the good friend that I am, I decided to bring him some dinner. He was unable to move his neck, so I tried to help by massaging the knots out. I guess my massage techniques leave something to be desired because afterwards he had a large welt and it appeared that I had rubbed so hard that I took off some skin. OOPs. We were able to laugh it off and watch a movie.

Then the dude started sneezing a bunch and had a runny nose. After snuggling up to me he backed away and said "I think I'm allergic to you." I took this as my cue and suggested I leave, all the while, he's rubbing my back telling me I shouldn't go. Talk about mixed fucking messages. I went to the bathroom and decided it would be best to go. I came back out and said I was taking off. He was all pouty, but what the hell? I'm sorry, I can't makeout with someone who is allergic to me or cats for that matter. This will be added to my list of "guys I can't date" - the ones allergic to me. Super.

- Melanie

what's the point

I'm tired. I ended up at Gustav's tonight to celebrate an old friend's birthday. I really have no desire to go there again, although the coat check girl was quite friendly. It was so crowded and just not my scene. I'd been there about a month ago the night Carrie got a little tipsy and was not impressed and left right away. But since it was a friend's birthday I figured I'd make the best of it. I tried. I've kind of made a vow to myself that I won't go or do things that I don't want to do. This evening reinforced my belief. Oh well.

Knowing that I'm moving to Thailand in about 4 months has really put a twist on things. I think some of my friends are sort-of putting me at a distance and I understand.

- Melanie

Playing Catch-Up

So - It's been awhile. A few things have happened in the month since we've last blogged.

*I (Carrie) turned 32

*Melanie bought kamikazes

*We got an apartment in NE Mpls. (We move-in April 1st)

*My divorce was final on Friday, March 4th.

We've never really had a great night - that we had to blog - but if we wait for that, we could be waiting for a long time. :)

This week at school was a long one. We finished up conferences - and we're on the home stretch to Spring Break (so the kids are a little NUTS). We started last night off with Happy Hour at El Toro with co-worker Missy. Later - we went to Grumpy's for some darts. Vanhtha joined us - for A drink (more like a SIP of A drink) - and then Tony and Sam and their friend Brian came later. We got a little silly - but not crazy. It was an ok night. We're getting up slowly - and craving ice cream shakes. Hmmm . ..on the coldest day of March so far. .yes, we're weird - but that's why you love us.

A Day Lost to the Wanderers Punch

Ok, it's true. I got a little too drunk Friday night. I actually - and this is the truth - have never been THAT drunk before. As Dave Attell would say . . I did not "black out" at all during the night. .but I did quite a lot of "time traveling." You know, first thing, I was at the bar, next I was outside, then I was in a car, next thing I knew I was on a bench at a new bar, and then I was safe and sound in Melanie's bathroom throwing up. (and how and when did I get this stamp on my hand??) I'm sure this was all quite pretty for my friends who were the ones that actually had to HOLD ME UP to get around to all these places. Yes, I have done my fair share of taking care of the drunk, and I shouldn't feel bad that I've now done it ONCE in my life. (little bro would be SO PROUD) :/ But as an ALMOST 32 year old. . I can safely say - I don't plan on doing THAT ever again (or at least until I forget how sucky the hangover was). I lost ALL of yesterday! I was throwing up, little headachy, couldn't find a comfortable position, always searching for the cold side of the pillow, trying to focus on the TV. . and Melanie ended up NOT hanging out with Brian - so we could have TOTALLY done something fun. . but no. . warmest day of Februrary, and here we sat INSIDE - in PJ's - watching TV and ordering IN.

Oh well. . . .today is a NEW day. . and I'm feeling good.

REFLECTION:
Before the whole drunken Friday night, I did have a PRETTY good day - I went to divorce court with Paul - and that whole thing should be over WITHIN 4 weeks! We were commended by my lawyer, and the judge for having everything taken care of before we entered the courtroom. NO fighting, no haggling. . . pretty much my lawyer read our agreement into Record. .. and we're on our way! Also - our house went on the market - and we've already had 3 showings! Keep your fingers crossed for a QUICK - yet profitable SELL! Would be a GREAT birthday present - to have a divorce decree AND a closing date set!

Bangkok it is

So last weekend was a pretty intense weekend at the UNI International Teaching Job Fair. I and about 500 other teachers were running around as if we were on The Apprentice trying to land the "perfect" job. There were offers and timelines and decisions that needed to be make quickly. So after many phone calls to friends and family back home, I decided on Thailand. I leave in August and have a 2-year contract at an international school there. I don't think it's really hit me yet that I'm leaving for a long time. So right now my goal is to enjoy Minnesota and spend as much time with the people I love. And that's the plan.

I was already able to use the excuse "I'm moving out of the country" on a date that was about as funny as pocket lint. The sad part of it was that he thought he was quite hilarious. The waitress and I just didn't seem to agree though. I guess he was nice, but no spark. I don't think it's a good sign when I'm thinking about the Tuesday TV night line up that I'm missing.

On a better note I got a call from Tony, the ex that I ran into at the CC Club. We talked for over an hour, and then I e-mailed him when I came back from Iowa. I invited him to a little social we attended last night at the Red Dragon. We celebrated being single on the Valentine's weekend with wanderers punch. It didn't agree real well with Carrie as she ended up complaining to the driver to "stop moving the car" and, for the grand finale, puking in my toilet. Oh well - we had to cut the night short. But in Carrie's drunken state she did manage to forget my sweater in his car. I called to apologize about our obnoxious behavior, and now I'll have to see him again to get the sweater. Damn. Actually I'm hoping that I'll be able to make out with him as I could really go for some male companionship.

Oh, also funny was that one of the women at the party was a good friend of my most recent ex. She has known several females who dated him as well and have all come to the conclusion that he's "the gay." My feelings and doubts were validated - once again it was him, not me. 'Cuz it's never me.

- Melanie

the week of the ex-boyfriends

Well it's been an interesting week to say the least. Last Saturday when Carrie and I grabbed some food at Wilde Roast there was a bit of apprehensiveness about going there because my most recent ex-boyfriend is their head chef. I figured he'd be working, and I'm not sure what prompted us to go there. We were hungry for a light sandwich, and after some indecisiveness I ended up convincing myself that it's no big deal. I live in the neighborhood and, whatever, it's been since around September since I've seen him. I should be able to go into his work establishment, right? I kind-of felt like a stalker showing up there. Plus we'd been e-mailing a little and I was the last one to e-mail, which was like two or so weeks ago. In our awkward conversation he told me that, "I've been meaning to e-mail you." I told him I was over it, which is obviously not the case, or I wouldn't have shown up at his work. See, the problem is that I haven't had any new guy to completely take him off my mind. I'm used to having a back-up man. But my back-up is seeing someone else, leaving me back-upless. And I wasn't even that upset when he ended it! In fact, I was more mad at myself at my failed attempts to end the relationship earlier. It's not like there weren't any red lights. He was a little neurotic and even his sexuality was questionable. He loves Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and he'd made statements like "Harry Connick, Jr. is such a hottie" referring to his stint on Will and Grace. I mean, I've been down that road before. Another ex of mine loved watching old tapes of Liberace and in the end admitted to granting another man a blow job.

Whatever, the food was good and apparently he's becoming quite the success as he will be appearing on Kare 11 and making an entree on the morning show with Pat Evans and Roxanne Battle. It's not unusual for my ex's to become successful once we're over. One of my ex's is a dentist, another a scores music for movies and commercials(when we dated he was a recent graduate from Berkeley Music School and delivering newspapers).

Then this past Tuesday another ex (we're still friends - as much as you can be with an ex) took me out for dinner. I found out that the reason that he'd been even more selfish and distant than usual in the past several months was because he was back on smack. But now he's in a methodone program. We know the fare at Psycho Suzie's is scrumptious, but the conversation left much to be desired after he had dropped that little bomb. Oh, and then on Thursday "the love of his life" (whom he still had a relationship with) was murdered. So I've been trying to support him as best I can. It's quite tragic and in lots of newspapers. It's so horrible and guns suck!!!! I haven't had a "love of my life," but I think finding out that the person was murdered would be completely unbearable.

And on a lighter note, on Friday while Carrie and I were out at the CC Club (we were supposed to go to the Turf Club, but there was a long line to see Faux Jean)I ran into an old, old ex-boyfriend. We dated when I was in college, about seven or so years ago. He was (and still is) very funny and completely neurotic. For a Valentine's Day he gave me the romantic gift of sea monkeys. He's a Cancer (I'm a Sagitarius) and we weren't compatible because he is so sensitive and I'm a sarcastic ass(especially to those I care about). We had a great time catching up though, and he remembered details like my middle and last name (I didn't even remember his last) and my birthday! We exchanged numbers and I got his dating card which states, "How you doing?" His name and under that "Chicks dig me." It's very funny; I guess you can get these free business cards online. Whatever, perhaps I can have some fun before I possibly move out of the country. Even better, perhaps I can win the bet!

-Melanie

Lazy Saturday

Melanie and I awoke to a sunny Saturday. The streets were filled with snow - we had to play the Snow Emergency game and move our cars at 9 in the morning. We met up with Vanhtha for breakfast/brunch/lunch at Maria's in south Mpls. It is a cute place. The fare is Columbian - complete with a cute crooner with a guitar. Melanie's toes curled as cutie pie lowered his voice and whispered sweet Spanish into the mic. She thinks it's a sign - that she for sure has to go to South America. Or maybe that she just needs a rock star to whisper in her ear every morning. :)

We spent the rest of the afternoon as bums - but emerged from our hibernation for a yummy dinner at the Wilde Roast Cafe. The food was great - and the atmosphere was definitely comfortable. After dinner we made a stop at Grumpy's for a beer and some darts. Grumpy's was pretty uneventful - so we headed home early.

Just as we stepped into Melanie's apartment - NorthernGuy called. We met up (yes, Melanie - the trooper - even came out - to thwart off the uncomfortable first meeting in a crowded bar) at Psycho Suzies. NG is a nice guy. He's interesting, and he'll probably be a good guy to hang out with once in awhile. And that's it.

I guess even party girls like me and Melanie need to have a lazy day once in awhile. Save our energy for the next big night.

Riding in Station Wagons with Boys

Most people probably decided to rent movies and cuddle up inside last night. Not us. We are die hards when it comes to the local scene. We both left work pretty much right away. Melanie went home to take a nap, and I . . . well I had made plans to meet up with a relatively new guy - let's name him Parker. Anyway, through a SNOWSTORM and unplowed highways, I traveled in my '95 Cavalier to meet Parker. We met 1/2 way (he coming from MPLS - me from home) - we ended up in Fridley. .yadda yadda yadda . . . he's not the best kisser I've ever encountered.

Melanie's explanation of yadda yadda yadda: First I was a little shocked that she decided to even meet the dude after he had been quite explicit with his description of what he wanted to do once he met Carrie. But, I guess that's just me being the overprotective friend. So their "meeting" took place in his station wagon. Appartently Parker isn't big into public places. However, he did treat Carrie to some Miller Light (cans) after she needed some proof that the boy was of age. I guess he looked all of 19. Anywho, she tells me that he's a "really nice, normal guy" - interesting that she had to include the word "normal" in her account of the evening.

SO - after sending P on his way to MEXICO - he's in a wedding there tonight?? Maybe - not sure how truthful this boy is yet. . . I continued on my treacherous path to NE to meet up with Melanie. She was IN BED! So as she got be-utified for our trip to GRUMPY'S, I called yet another new(er) guy - let's name him NorthernGuy. NG and I had emailed back and forth - but had not yet conversed. It was good. He seems really intelligent - enjoys the local music scene - and is interesting to talk to.

When Melanie was beautiful, we headed out in snow up to our shins to Dusty's - to fill our bellies with HOT DAGO. I think it was "Bring your PARTNER" night at Dusty's. . . .we fit in just fine. Grumpy's was PACKED for a blizzard night! We sat at the bar - called Vanhtha to join us (after his Becker Furniture World audition) and enjoyed a pitcher of Stella whilst checking out the locals STILL streaming in. Stinky Matt was there. . .but with new friends. Stinky(Cute) Nick wasn't there, and when asked, Matt didn't seem impressed that we cared.

We did play darts. Vanhtha was pretty good for a guy who "doesn't play darts.". . .Melanie and I also challanged (and beat) cute stocking cap boy and his friend to a game before they stepped out into the cold. (Vanhtha was the BEST guy friend - he pretended - I mean he ACTED - like he was our Special (and by special - I mean - SPECIAL - drool and everything) friend - could have even been our Special Adopted Lao Brother.

The night ended with us manuvering our way out of the new snow drift - and heading back to Melanie's for junk food, diet cokes, and deep conversation with Landlord Bill.

All in all - a good time was had by all - and no, No Kamikazes yet.

man hater

What Carrie didn't mention last night was that while chatting with LB, he actually called me a "man hater." Simply because I suggested she take his hat that he'd left and burn it or clean the toilets with it. Something. (She was thinking about sending it to him.) Even Carrie has suggested that I may be a bit negative or cynical when it comes to the whole dating front.

Cynical, me? On my 16th birthday my mother gave me a lovely plaque that stated, "When it comes to tires or testicals, you're bound to have problems with it." This coming from a woman who after being married to my father for 37 years decided she couldn't be married to him for one moment longer.

Today, on my way to my mother's, my car broke down. My plan was to help her take down her plastic Christmas tree, do my laundry (the joys of renting), eat her food and go home. When I started my baby this morning, she didn't want to go. But with my gentle caresses and sweet talk I was able to rev her up. So I'm heading down 35W S and noticed the battery light was on. I then noticed that the heat wasn't working. Interesting that driving with no heat on a 16 degree day seems decent enough to continue. I then noticed that my thermostat needle showed that my car was hot, really hot, over the "h" hot. I knew this was no good and decided that I should call someone. Oops, forgot the cell phone. So now it was me against the engine. I almost won too; I was only 2 miles away from my mother's place in Lakeville when I hit a long red light. My baby died in the middle of an intersection. R.I.P. Mazda 626

Were there warning signs that my car was headed for a break-down? Well, there was that one extremley loud squeaking noise it made. But that was just because it's so cold out. Oh, it also started to make that sound when I turned right, or left or when I pushed on the gas pedal, but still. Where am I going with this? The plaque given to me was right on. Men are like cars in that there are usually warning signs. What we choose to do with these warning signs is up to us. I've been guilty of going forward with some real dooseys.

See, I really don't think I'm a man hater, I just don't think men are all that complex when it comes to finding a mate. They want to get the most "woman" they can possibly get with their given traits. Example: a 300 lb man working at SA probably won't end up with a super model, but he's still going to try to get the best woman he thinks he deserves. Along the way he may even screw over a real nice one for a prettier one who hopefully ends up hurting him. Want even better Karma? The nice one has moved on and is hotter than ever.

Last night my friend and I saw the movie Closer. My friend thought it was disgusting, and I thought it was really sexy. The movie made me realize that I wasn't ready to quit smoking. No sex: ok, no cigarettes: ok, no sex and cigarettes: NOT OK. It's a good thing I did buy a pack last night or else the whole car breaking down thing would have been a much bigger issue. Anyway, so the movie goes like this: Judd is dating Natalie, the waitress/ex-stripper. He then meets Julia, the photographer and wants her. But Julia says, no, you're living with another woman. Then Julia starts dating a man, and then decides that it's ok to start fucking Judd. Makes sense. Anyways, they all swap partners and in the end the ones who were originally screwed over by their partners seem happier, if not, wiser. Where's this leading to? It supports my theory that men want the most bang for their buck. I hate cliches, but there it is. What kind of man would leave Natalie for Julia? Answer: a really hot man who can do that.

So do I hate men? No. I simply don't take much stock in their words, it's more action. "I'll call you" means shit until he does. "I've never felt like this before" means at least not since a week or so ago, and "I'm busy" means I'm too much of a coward to say no.

The man (and car) hater -

Melanie

Where the Boys Are

OK! After been given the ol' heave Ho by Lobster Boy on Wed. night - guess who we ran into at Grumpy's??? Ok, to be fair, we were actually eating at Mill City Cafe - and on the way back to Melanie's I did a "drive by" - and thought - hey! Might that be LB's vehicle?? Once returning to Melanie's I told her that his truck MAY have been there - but I couldn't tell for sure - I thought it more PINK in color. Well, this was all she needed to hear. . . .OF COURSE we're going to check it out! We did, and we came to the consensus - that MAYBE that was his - let's go have ONE beer while we wait for our evening to start (went to Back Alley Gallery in St. Paul to see little bro's poster show). . . ANYWAY. .was it his truck? YES! He was there. . .we were there. .Melanie thought for sure he saw us. . . . me, I wanted to throw up. .no longer liked the idea of coming in for a beer. Melanie suggested we go play a game of darts - we did . . with two guys who were "hangin" near the dartboards. We played some darts - twas a little bit fun - however the feeling of wanting to throw up was still present. While playing, LB walked by us on his way to the bathroom. When he came out - we made eyecontact - and talked for about 1/2 an hour. Nothin good really came of the conversation - except that I have some closure. He's not really into going out - and was too scared to say that in the multiple conversations we had had since the day we met. I guess LB just proves that most guys are jerks, and that I'm too good for them! I did thank him for the slap of reality - and the welcome back into the dating world. Melanie's falling asleep. .and I need to be in St. Cloud for Desi's wedding in less than 7 hours! GOOD NIGHT CRUEL WORLD!

Stood Up

Ok, here is the big "Welcome Back to the World of Singletons!" Met this guy - let's call him "Lobster Boy" - met him at Grumpy's whilst celebrating Melanie's birthday. (Red Flag #1 - he was with a friend, who flirted w/ Melanie - and turns out to be married.) - Anyway. . Lobster Boy and I kinda hit it off - and yadda yadda yadda - he came back to Melanie's place with us. Long story short - Melanie pretty much passed out right away -and Lobster Boy and I had a very innocent few hours or so of small talk and getting to know each other - yadda yadda yadda - he went home at 7:30 in the morning. LB seemed very genuine, he seemed as shy and awkward as I did about this first "date?", said all the right things - he wanted to get together - but wanted to make sure I was ready - blah blah blah. OK - so I called him - left a message - called again - talked to him - because of holidays he was really busy at work - but would like to get together after the first of the year. FUN! Yay! right? well, we were supposed to get together last night (afternoon) after he got off of work - he didn't even CALL! NO CALL even! I called and left a message - with my last comment being - "I get it." - but what the heck??? He seemed so GREAT! So genuine! So SWEET! So gentle! Am I THAT bad of a judge of character?? This truly makes me nervous. I would have NEVER guessed that he would ditch me like this - am I doomed to always think the good things -and not notice the crappy guys????

Well - wish me luck - I think I'm going to need it! Poor poor me!

about last night

So Carrie and I were going to have a mellow night considering that Sunday was our last day of break and we didn't want to have a hangover. We went to Vanhtha's to play a little hold'em and I was quite happy that I wasn't beat right away. In fact I beat Vanhtha. Vanhtha's goal is to quit teaching and become a professional poker player. The teaching thing is temporary for me as well - it's just until I get my super-model career going.

So after leaving Vanhtha's we decided to do a drive by. Grumpy's did seem a little hopping, so we decided to go in, for one beer. We were warmly greeted by the bartender and decided to have one pitcher. Hey, we're teachers and always wanting to get the most for our dollar. The ratio of men to women was in our favor and we were enjoying the beer. There was also some free entertainment. A women in what looked to be early 40's was making the rounds. I witnessed her kissing at least four men and hanging on about a dozen. Carrie and I agreed that if this were ever us, the other would take that person into the parking lot and shoot them dead.

So we were getting ready to leave and some young lads asked us if we were interested in shooting darts. Being the gracious Minnesotans, we accepted. We teamed up in every way possible and the only consistent thing was that I was always the loser. I suck at any form of competition. So we were enjoying ourselves and as the night came to an end we were preparing to part ways.

Some other guys from another table who had been eye-balling us throughout the evening approached us. One guy asked Carrie if we knew the guys we were playing darts with and she said we'd just met. Then the guy approached me and asked if I "smelled that." "That" being the smell of our dart buddies. I did notice they were a bit ripe, and said I did smell the odor. He then suggested we go home with him and his friends. I guess this was supposed to be a compliment of some sorts, but the guy was simply an ass. Does this work for men? Do they simply think they can be walking out the door of a bar and say, "Wanna come home with me?" and we'll swoon? Get your coat Carrie, we got a live one. Whatever. This, among many other reasons, is why I will continue to be single. And happy about it - damn it.

- Melanie

New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve started out a little rocky. I did something to my back - that caused me to be uncomfortable in any position after about 5 min - so our plan of going to 7th Street Entry / First Avenue was not looking so hot for me. We changed plans - Turf Club (Get Up Johns & Accident Clearinghouse). We were up until 5 am the night before - so with little sleep - we power shopped for the perfect outfits for our night on the town. With stores closing early due to the holiday - we struggled - and crabbiness soon took over - threatening to ruin our night before it even started. Melanie assured me that we could find something for me in her closet - so I gave in - and we decided to eat. We ate at the Macaroni Grill in Rosedale - not very glamourous - but it was yummy! We sat at the bar - and were in and out in 45 minutes! Running back to Melanie's place in NE Mpls, we DID find a great top for me - ended up in jeans - but what the hell - we were going to the Turf Club!

We got to the Turf Club at the perfect time - we got a table - and all was good. Vanhtha showed up for "one drink" - and yadda yadda yadda we left about 1am - on the hunt for food. We first tried Dusty's for HOT DAGOs - but the soldier/waitress/bartender with a dental plan was not having that! No way were we getting HOT DAGO at 1:30 in the morning! Dejected - we headed back to NE - and ordered pizza.

All-in-all it was a great evening - the best to come of it - a Pinky Swear between friends - and Melanie does not need to buy drinks - at least not this week.

Carrie

A New Year

This blog is our way of celebrating our new year - and our fresh start. We are two thirtysomething friends who have been having so much fun and adventure that we knew we had to share it with the rest of the world.

A quick look to how we got here:

Carrie

On April 15th of 2004 I found out that my husband of 5 years had been cheating on me. Not only did he cheat - but she was pregnant. For the past 8 months I have been trying to save my marriage, trying to deal with his lies, and ultimately trying to deal with the possibility of having this kid in my life (results from DNA test expected any day now). Somewhere in Nov. I realized that the lies and hurt were not stopping - and that only I could stop them - by leaving. I have filed for divorce - and have never been happier!

I have been re-discovering myself. My brother, Lon, even said he likes me again - I'm turning back into the Carrie he used to know and love. That's cool. I'm excited to get out on my own. I'm excited to start living life again - and I vow to myself that I will never again lose who I am.


Melanie
Overall 2004 was a decent year. Good on the work, family and friendship part - pathetic on the relationship front. I was in Austin, TX last year at this time. It was quite fun considering I've never been there and I love live music. I'm always a little leery of the South, but Austin sounded like a place I needed to see. I was with a friend who can sort of be a bore at times. She's nice, but rarely shocks or even surprises. I also went to Atlanta with a friend during spring break. I traveled there with an ex and after that trip it was completely obvious that we would not go back on the dating road. He's nice too, but a bit predictable. He's a Capicorn. I know, but I still think it matters. We did have fun at a Brave's game, except for the "Tomahawk Chop" - it was just a bit creepy.

This past summer I went to Ireland with a friend (the one I went to Austin with). I had an amazing time - plus I was out of my element with the whole driving on the opposite side of the road. I hadn't driven a stick in some time, but it was really fun. We got to see a lot of the south coast of Ireland. It's so beautiful there. I met me mum in England for a week after that and we had a super time. I love my mommy. In fact I want a tattoo of mom somewhere on my body, but so far I haven't received a real positive response about the idea. Anyways, me mum and I did some touristy things, shopped a ton, and went to a hilarious show. It was some abridged version of the Bible. It cracked me up, even my mom enjoyed it and she goes to church!

So I started teaching again this fall, which has been good. I'm not an amazing teacher, but I'm working on it. I love teaching ESL and in fact am considering teaching abroad next year. I've registered for a recruiting fair in Iowa. I'd love to go to Latin America and hone on my Spanish skills. I have two nieces and one is from Guatemala and I'd love to teach her some Spanish. Plus I just think it would be an amazing experience.

The boy front was weak to say the least this year. I started off messing around with an ex and that finally came to an end. I tried the internet dating, which was humorous to say the least. Met a few nice boys. One I ended up dating for about three months this summer. He's a chef, and in a band (+), but his name is Jason. This was like Jason #5 and the odds were against us. It was fun (most of the time) while it lasted.

So Carrie is a friend and co-worker. She's been through a lot of shit this year and I'm happy that we've gotten close over the last year. She's hilarious and it's been fun going out with another single gal who appreciates my humor. I've got some great friends, but they're married and what not. So whatever, I have to go. My mommy is buying me a DVD player today. Apparently these are not a fleeting trend, so I'll bite. Later!