man hater

What Carrie didn't mention last night was that while chatting with LB, he actually called me a "man hater." Simply because I suggested she take his hat that he'd left and burn it or clean the toilets with it. Something. (She was thinking about sending it to him.) Even Carrie has suggested that I may be a bit negative or cynical when it comes to the whole dating front.

Cynical, me? On my 16th birthday my mother gave me a lovely plaque that stated, "When it comes to tires or testicals, you're bound to have problems with it." This coming from a woman who after being married to my father for 37 years decided she couldn't be married to him for one moment longer.

Today, on my way to my mother's, my car broke down. My plan was to help her take down her plastic Christmas tree, do my laundry (the joys of renting), eat her food and go home. When I started my baby this morning, she didn't want to go. But with my gentle caresses and sweet talk I was able to rev her up. So I'm heading down 35W S and noticed the battery light was on. I then noticed that the heat wasn't working. Interesting that driving with no heat on a 16 degree day seems decent enough to continue. I then noticed that my thermostat needle showed that my car was hot, really hot, over the "h" hot. I knew this was no good and decided that I should call someone. Oops, forgot the cell phone. So now it was me against the engine. I almost won too; I was only 2 miles away from my mother's place in Lakeville when I hit a long red light. My baby died in the middle of an intersection. R.I.P. Mazda 626

Were there warning signs that my car was headed for a break-down? Well, there was that one extremley loud squeaking noise it made. But that was just because it's so cold out. Oh, it also started to make that sound when I turned right, or left or when I pushed on the gas pedal, but still. Where am I going with this? The plaque given to me was right on. Men are like cars in that there are usually warning signs. What we choose to do with these warning signs is up to us. I've been guilty of going forward with some real dooseys.

See, I really don't think I'm a man hater, I just don't think men are all that complex when it comes to finding a mate. They want to get the most "woman" they can possibly get with their given traits. Example: a 300 lb man working at SA probably won't end up with a super model, but he's still going to try to get the best woman he thinks he deserves. Along the way he may even screw over a real nice one for a prettier one who hopefully ends up hurting him. Want even better Karma? The nice one has moved on and is hotter than ever.

Last night my friend and I saw the movie Closer. My friend thought it was disgusting, and I thought it was really sexy. The movie made me realize that I wasn't ready to quit smoking. No sex: ok, no cigarettes: ok, no sex and cigarettes: NOT OK. It's a good thing I did buy a pack last night or else the whole car breaking down thing would have been a much bigger issue. Anyway, so the movie goes like this: Judd is dating Natalie, the waitress/ex-stripper. He then meets Julia, the photographer and wants her. But Julia says, no, you're living with another woman. Then Julia starts dating a man, and then decides that it's ok to start fucking Judd. Makes sense. Anyways, they all swap partners and in the end the ones who were originally screwed over by their partners seem happier, if not, wiser. Where's this leading to? It supports my theory that men want the most bang for their buck. I hate cliches, but there it is. What kind of man would leave Natalie for Julia? Answer: a really hot man who can do that.

So do I hate men? No. I simply don't take much stock in their words, it's more action. "I'll call you" means shit until he does. "I've never felt like this before" means at least not since a week or so ago, and "I'm busy" means I'm too much of a coward to say no.

The man (and car) hater -

Melanie